*** graphic images at end of blog that may cause upset***
Before I start my second blog, I’d like to say if anyone has had a traumatic birth or has had an even more scary experience of the special baby care unit (Scbu) or neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) this may dredge up emotions!
Please feel free to contact me, or talk to a friend/ professional!
Ur not alone! 🥰😘
I’d also like to dedicate this to all the amazing mum’s and dad’s that have to go through this, the mum’s and dad’s that are not so lucky as us and endure months and months of scbu/nicu life!
Also a special mention to those mums and dad’s that sadly don’t get to take their babies home at all! I cannot imagine how awful that must be- I send all my love to you!! 💕💕💕
So as a children’s nurse we often complete a placement in special baby care! I loved mine, caring for these tiny babies who have just come into the world was not only amazing but such a privilege!
They are most definitely little fighters!! They fight battles an adult most certainly wouldn’t! And the littlest things are massive achievements to these babies!
But as a Mam…..
It was the most daunting, scary and worrying experience of my life, and Oliver was one of the less sicker babies!
Our Scbu journey only lasted 11 days!
I have so so much respect for parents who’s journey is much longer and more frightening! Ours felt like forever so for parents that are there months and months I really do think you are total warriors!! 🙌🏼
After a traumatic birth at just 34 weeks! Oliver was born 7:21pm New Year’s Eve, by forceps in theatre!
I was told later on by a colleague that he didn’t breath for a whole 6 minutes!
As the doctor put it “he kept us on our toes”.
Oliver was the only baby in Scbu due to it being New Year’s Eve,so he had the full attention of the ladies! 😘
I was wheeled in and he was just all wires!
With a little mask over his nose to assist him breathing (he wasn’t ventilated, thank goodness) a tube down his mouth, cannula in his belly button, heart monitoring on him, he looked so tiny and sick!
They reassured me he was doing really well, but having to leave him to return to the ward was so hard!
As the clock struck midnight-no my dress didn’t turn into rags or my carriage into a pumpkin, but my little fighter could breath all by himself! It was the best New Years ever!! 😊☺️
I hadn’t even held him at this point so when I did it was so amazing! Although a little scary, trying not to disturb his wires!
To state that the Scbu journey is a rollercoaster is an understatement, there are low, lows, but very high highs!!
One minute I was so happy he could wear clothes for the first time and out of an incubator, the next there were doctors rushing around him, taking bloods, putting him back into an incubator, and back onto antibiotics, because he was struggling to breath again!
That day was so stressful!!
I just sat and cried! It was also the first day I went to Scbu on my own- so having to ring my husband to explain Oliver had taken a bit of a turn and wasn’t well again was awful! Just when we had thought we were on the road to home!
The next hurdle was feeding!
Oliver was being fed by a tube that went into his nose and down into his belly!
Even though he was getting fed he was still loosing weight! He was born 5lb 15oz, he went down to under 4lb!
As a mother, the one job u have is to feed ur baby, I couldn’t even do that!
So when we started trying him with a bottle i thought “yes I can finally feed him” yet he wouldn’t even take 5mls!
It was so so frustrating!
Every day turning up to hear a nurse had managed to feed him 30mls but i couldn’t even get him to feel 5-10mls!
I often went home crying!
I felt so so useless!
We lived about 30minutes away from the hospital so by the time I had sorted out our other son and rushed up there the nurses would have already performed his ‘cares’ (bottle, change his nappy, changed position, cleaned his eyes). So when I’d arrive I would just sit there peering into the incubator! I’d sit there for hours waiting just to pick him up, feed him, hoping he would poo just so I could change him! 🤦🏼♀️
My husband would try and reassure me, but it didn’t help all I wanted was my baby to be home, feeding, gaining weight and for us to be a family unit!
At home of a night, it was the most weird thing seeing the Moses basket empty and going to bed for a full night sleep- and people would just say “take advantage of it because when he comes home You won’t sleep then”. I know it was said is jest, but I could have screamed at them! All I wanted was those sleepless nights!!
After what felt like a life time, we were told within a few days we would be home! We just had to get him gaining weight first! The nurse told us we could stay in a family room with him just to get used to the nights with him. I did think this was odd (being a second time mum and a nurse) but after 10days without him I was up for doing anything that got us closer to home!
When I returned the next day, a mum that had been there a little while and I sparked a conversation about how hard it had been! We could both see the relief on each other’s faces when we both explained to each other how difficult it was juggling other children around visiting your newborn in scbu!
How difficult it was to not be able to do many “normal” things for your baby!
I really wish we had spoken sooner!
The next thing a nurse called me over and said those words that I had hoped for since he was born…
“YOU CAN GO HOME”
I was in utter shock that I grabbed her and hugged her so hard!
I practically ran out of there, after about 5 changes(he needed the perfect “going home” outfit of course). 😂😂
We even stopped half way home to make sure he was okay in his car seat! 🤦🏼♀️
One thing I do want to say is how much I appreciate the doctors, scbu nurses and midwives who delivered, cared for and made our little man well enough to come home to us!
Their job can be a very hard one, not only caring for the sickest of babies, but the parents who did not expect their babies to end up in SCBU/NICU.
Without u guys, Oliver may not be here!
U are very special people. 😘😘
The Honest Mother Of Boys. 